Sooo what did we just watch? "American Horror Story" never fails to shock us, but last night's "The Replacements" definitely went on a...different path in order to shock viewers. And by different, I mean not so subtle incest, semen in mason jars and sex with a minotaur. So many events unfolded in last night's episode (maybe a little too much happened) and it's definitely safe to say that for now, Fiona is running the show. 

Fiona's getting replaced? Not going to happen.

We finally found out why Fiona was going through all this trouble to stay young. She's losing her powers and youth because a new Supreme witch is on the rise. She knows this because she used to be the new Supreme, as shown via flashback to 1971 when she slit the throat of the old one so she could be in charge. 

Fiona realized that the lovely Madison was starting to realize a slew of new powers, which is the telltale sign of an up and coming Supreme. Madison's newfound powers involved casually setting afire the curtains of the new Bible-thumping family that moved next door and moving a man into the middle of the street with her mind. Girl was having a good old time with her new tricks, and Fiona knew she had to put a stop to that. 

It wasn't clear whether or not Fiona had intended to let Madison kill her at the end of the episode. This would've come full circle to the beginning scene of the episode, as it was even in the same room with all the creepy photos of the past Supremes. Unfortunately for Madison, she's no Fiona, and couldn't bring herself to use the knife. Instead, old Fiona did what new Fiona would've done, and cut that bitch's throat. 

Well, damn. I had assumed that Emma Roberts was a first-billed star and would be a major character this season, but apparently not? Then again, we've already seen Lily Rabe burned at the stake and Evan Peters cut up into a million pieces, and they're still around. We'll have to wait and see if Roberts will remain on the show or not.  Emma, if you'd only gone "Scream 4" on Fiona and shot her in the hoo-ha. Sigh.

That's his mother, right?

Speaking of Rabe and Peters' characters, they had to deal with some issues. I'm convinced that bringing herself back to life has made Misty Day a total nutjob. She was still listening to Stevie Nicks and partying with the alligators in her creepy backwoods Louisana shack, and she was overly upset when Zoe came to take FrankenKyle home. In other words, Zoe better watch her back.

Speaking of Zoe, how stupid can she get? While I love Taissa Farmiga, her character this season is making the most annoyingly stupid decisions, one of which was bringing Kyle back to his mother, who you could already tell was crazy because she had a chin piercing. 

Zoe just casually dropped him off at his old house, thinking it would be a good idea. It turns out, Kyle's mother was a little too happy to see him back from the dead because she started to make out with him and presumably proceeded to have sex with him. So gross. And this obviously wasn't the first time this has happened because she made a comment about how his body was different. I think we all needed a shower after that seen.

Anyway, Kyle rightfully smashed her face in with one of his trophies, and Zoe of course showed up immediately after, too late to see what a monster his mother really was.

Yes, that was in a mason jar.

The two other major plots in this episode (remember how I said a lot was happening?) involved Cordelia trying to get knocked up and Queenie...being Queenie.

Cordelia's blood-sex-snake ritual with Hank didn't get her pregnant. So all of that demon-eyed nonsense was for nothing! She then turned to Marie, who described a certain voodoo ritual that may do the trick. What did this entail? Why it entailed a mason jar full of Hank's semen, a bunch of chanting voodoo witches and goats blood in Cordelia's nether regions. No big deal right? Either way, Marie wasn't about to let Cordelia go through with it, even for $100,000, because of Fiona's "burning of the weaves" fiasco in last week's episode.

Meanwhile, Queenie got a new servant in the form of LaLaurie, who wasn't happy about serving her peach cobbler. After a multitude of insults, Fiona put LaLaurie in her place. It's great to see her finally getting what she deserves after her treatment of her slaves, and Kathy Bates is simply killing it. 

Oh, and towards the end of the episode, minotaur showed up, presumably to torment LaLaurie for making him that way. However, Queenie saw this as an opportunity to be loved, and decided to masturbate in front of him and then have sex with him. Things may have gotten a little rough, but the scene cut away before we could see the aftermath.

Charms

- LaLaurie seeing Obama on the TV was priceless. She truly couldn't believe that America has a black president. 

- "She done messed with the wrong witch." Angela Bassett continues to be fierce.

- So the mom of that Bible family was played by Patti LuPone. It would be ironic if she was a witch herself.

- The son in the Bible family totally wants to hook up with Nan, who's totally down for that.

- "She needs to work on her aim." "This coven doesn't need a new Supreme. It needs a new rug." All hail Jessica Lange.

Verdict: Gabourey Sidibe having sex with a minotaur. That is all.