Kate del Castillo is finally admitting what everyone else already seems to know about her relationship with reputed drug kingpin Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman.

During a recent "20/20" interview with ABC's Diane Sawyer, the Mexican actress admits El Chapo may have allowed her closer access to his empire because he had a crush on her. But, at the same time, she insists things may be a lot more complicated than that.

Del Castillo hints she's convinced El Chapo was more infatuated with the Teresa Mendoza, drug-dealing character she played in her "The Queen of the South" telenovela.

El Chapo's Crush not About del Castillo?

"I don't think it was necessarily me, Kate del Castillo," she said. "I think it was -- probably a little bit of both. It was more that he was-- probably had a crush on Teresa Mendoza in a way because he loved that series so much ... But I think it was a little bit of both too because he said some beautiful things about my family."

Del Castillo and Guzman came face to face for the first in the summer of 2015, while one of the world's most wanted men was on the run after escaping from a maximum security prison in Mexico. Though del Castillo insists all communication between the two were for the purposes of doing a movie about his life story, a stream of text messages exchanged between the two and leaked to the media have caused many to wonder.

"I am an honorable woman," del Castillo said of rumors the two may have been romantically involved." My family is honorable, and this does not define who I am. I'm just an actor that wanted a great story. Yes, selfish probably, but a great story that will help us understand the organized crime. That was it."

Del Castillo added throughout their discussions she always made it clear to Guzman that she wouldn't be taking any of his money from him to complete their project and was working to secure financing on her own. By the time the two actually met, she had added Academy Award winning actor Sean Penn to the mix.

Penn in on Trip to Meet Guzman

Penn accompanied her on the trip to see Guzman, but she still insists he never told her about the article he was working on about El Chapo for Rolling Stone.

The first time she laid eyes on Guzman, del Castillo remembers being mesmerized by how different he looked then from what she expected.

"He's taller," she told Sawyer. "His eyes just penetrate you like a dagger... they're just like mesmerizing in a way that you cannot just turn around."

Del Castillo admits she was touched by the way Guzman took time to answer questions she and Penn sent to him on a video he had personally delivered to her.

"I was moved by him doing this for me," she said. "And then sending it to me and all the risks that, you know-- it's just crazy. We've never seen a video of him.

Not long after that, Guzman was recaptured by Mexican troops, and del Castillo hints her nightmare truly began. Authorities immediately charged her visit with Guzman was one of the ways they were able to track him down.

"I'm not a law enforcement agent or I don't work in the government, so I cannot-- you know, betray someone like that," said del Castillo. "Plus, it would be stupid. I mean, it's my life at risk and my family," she said. "I wanted to die. I was very afraid."

Through it all, she and Guzman remain in touch through their attorneys. She also insists she plans to push forward with the movie project.

"My adrenaline, my being brave has to be a little more thoughtful," she said. "But fear... it's a bad word."

Meanwhile, Mexican authorities are investigating reports del Castillo may have taken money from Guzman for her tequila company, Honor del Castillo.

"For now, in the eyes of everybody, I'm guilty," she said. "You know, because they've been manipulating all this info."