Climate change has threatened large populations of animal species and its effects may be irreversible if positive environmental changes aren't made. However, is something far more sinister than a warmer winter to blame for the declining clown profession? To prove or disprove this theory we need hard evidence either for or against this nothing.

Get this: according to the World Clown Association the U.S. had approximately 3,500 clowns in 2004. Statistically, that equates to roughly one clown per college in America. Fast-forward to 2014 and that number was been chopped down by a third! With just 2,500 working clowns in America today, is it bold to say that a pandemic is going on? 

So what is the cause of all this hubbub? Could it be that laughing gas is quickly killing off all our beloved entertainers? No. Then perhaps people just aren't funny anymore? Perhaps that is the case. 

Wait, maybe the answer is that clown colleges have clamped down on acceptance rates? That seems like part of the problem.

"Our audience expects to be wowed," said David Kiser of Ringling Bros. Circus. "No longer is it good enough to just drop your pants and focus on boxer shorts."

Indeed, the Ringling Bros. doesn't accept many clowns into it ranks and it only employs 26 at any given time. And as circuses continue to shudder, so does opportunity for prospective clowns.

It seems like that the downtrodden economic climate is also effecting business. America can no longer afford the services of clowns, thanks in large part to crony capitalists like Bernie Madoff, day traders at Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley, and big banks repsonsible for mortgage fraud.

"The business was flourishing 10 years ago because people were financing quite elaborate children's parties," he explained, "There was quite a lot of competition between families for entertainers."

Entertainer Jeff Seal thinks that their is no issue, except for the antiquated, bureaucratic clowning organization.

"There are still a lot of younger people becoming clowns, they're just not joining the Clowns of America International," Mr. Seal replied. "It's more of a generational thing."

But across the pond there is no crisis to speak of, at least according to Tony Eldridge of Clowns International.

"There's no crisis here," Eldridge remarked. "The figures are fairly static. There's never been that many clowns in Great Britain. We've always had around 250 to 300 members."

Are you furious about the clown shortage in America? Should America institute a clown draft? Let me know in the comments section below.